Suffering
by Katie Katherine
Summary: Merlin has waiting more than a thousand years for Arthur to return. After having a nightmare he gives up hope and tries to commit suicide. One-shot. Strong bromance.


_**Suffering**_

 **Hello, hope you are having a good day. This is after Arthur's death, Merlin is in severe depression.**

One night, Merlin was in his small house sleeping in his bed. Merlin was having a nightmare.

" _You killed me. It's your fault that I'm dead. You're nothing but a curse." Arthur shouted._

" _I'm sorry. I tried to save you." Merlin cried._

" _No. You're a sorcerer. Magic is evil."_

 _Then Arthur was gone. Freya appeared._

" _I thought you loved me." Freya said._

" _I do." Merlin cried sadly._

" _If you loved me then you wouldn't have let me die."_

" _I'm sorry. I tried."_

 _Then Freya disappeared and then Lancelot appeared._

" _You let me die." Lancelot yelled._

" _I tried to stop you." Merlin cried._

" _No you did. Because of your stupid magic I'm dead."_

" _NO!"_

Then Merlin screamed and shot up out of bed. Merlin had several layers of sweat covering his face. Merlin panted and started crying. Merlin sobbed for several minutes. Over the past several hundred years he would wake up from the same nightmare. The year was 2015. Merlin had been waiting for more than a thousand years and Arthur still hadn't returned. It was winter and there was a blizzard outside. Merlin grabbed his knife and went outside. He sat on the shores of the lake. His body was partly in the lake. Merlin rolled up his sleeves and cut his arm. He made deep cuts. Blood poured quickly out of the cuts.

Even in the middle of the night, Merlin could see the dark crimson blood stain the blanket of snow. When Merlin had finished cutting both his arms, he cut his thighs. The dark crimson blood turned the icy cold water near Merlin pink. Merlin took off his shirt and cut his torso. Merlin began to feel tired and cold. He couldn't feel any pain. He smiled sadly knowing that he would die. Merlin cut his torso for the last time and then laid down and let the water cover him like a blanket. Merlin passed out several seconds later. Then someone came out of the lake. Arthur saw Merlin and ran to him.

"Merlin, wake up." Arthur panicked. He checked Merlin's pulse and found it weak. He picked Merlin up and carried Merlin into the house. He put Merlin in bed and lit a candle on Merlin's night table. He saw that Merlin was as white as a ghost. He found all the blankets he could find and covered Merlin up. He could hear Merlin's labored breathing. He covered Merlin up and then built a fire in Merlin's fireplace. He managed to move the bed closer to the fireplace. Then he did everything he could for Merlin. Merlin started shivering a few minutes later. "Thank goodness." Then Merlin woke up.

"Arthur?" Merlin strained.

"That's right. You idiot. I'm here." Arthur whispered. Then Merlin started crying. Arthur pulled Merlin into a hug.

"I'm sorry. I tried to save you."

"Merlin, I know you did everything that you could to save me. I could never blame you."

Then Arthur realized that Merlin wasn't wearing a shirt. He saw Merlin's arms and torso and gasped. He got up and got what he needed to clean and bandage Merlin's wounds. He was bandaging Merlin's right arm when he finally broke the silence.

"Why did you do this, Merlin?" Arthur asked.

"I watched more than a thousand years for you to return but you never came back. I feared that you would never come back." Merlin explained.

"Well, now that I'm back you have a lot of explaining to do."

Both Merlin and Arthur laughed. It was the first time Merlin had laughed in a very long time.

"I'm going to find you some clothes. You need to treat your thighs. You could get a bad infection." Arthur sternly said.

"Ok." Merlin replied. So Arthur went to get Merlin some clothes. Merlin cleaned and bandaged his thighs. When Merlin was finished, Arthur came in. Merlin's chest felt tight and Merlin started coughing. Arthur was by Merlin's side quickly. He helped Merlin from falling off the bed. When it was over, Arthur handed Merlin some clothes.

"You ok?" Arthur wondered.

"I'm fine. It's just a cold." Merlin croaked.

"I'm going to get you some water. You should get dressed."

"Ok."

SO Arthur left. Merlin got dressed and then went to Arthur. Arthur gave Merlin the cup of water and Merlin drank. When Merlin was done, he went back to bed. He got into bed and fell asleep a few seconds later. Arthur slept in a chair next to Merlin. The next day, Merlin woke up with pneumonia. He woke up with a high fever. He was coughing a lot. Arthur was tending to Merlin's fever as Merlin was having a coughing fit.

"Merlin, what should I do?" Arthur questioned. Then Merlin stopped coughing.

"Just stay with me." Merlin weakly moaned. SO Arthur did. Merlin drifted in and out of consciousness. His fever was dangerously high. Merlin was barely able to move. He felt so weak. He was on the brink of death.

"I can't fight it." Merlin rasped.

"Yes you can." Arthur said sternly. Merlin closed his eyes and then stopped breathing. Arthur felt Merlin's pulse and found it weak and faint. He remember what Gaius told him to do. He did CPR. He breathed air back into merlin's lungs. Then he hit Merlin's chest. After doing this several times, Merlin started coughing. When Merlin had finished coughing, Arthur cried happily.

"Were you worried about me?" Merlin wondered.

"No. Ok, I was." Arthur confessed. "I was worried because you are my brother and I don't want to lose you."

Arthur hugged Merlin and then a few minutes later realized that Merlin was asleep. He sighed and put Merlin on the bed. He covered Merlin up and made sure that Merlin recovered. Merlin was fully recovered a week later. Arthur was happy to have his brother back and Merlin felt the same way.

THE END

 **Hope you liked this story.**


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